It’s been awhile since I’ve written for our #RealTalkTuesdays without feeling like I’m checking something off my to-do list.
If I’m being frank with you all - and let’s be real, it’s called #RealTalkTuesday for a reason - I have been really overwhelmed with the amount of things that have happened over the past year. There are so many moving parts to my day to day, and the past 365 days have felt like they have flown by. The holidays are always a stressful season, but when you add the busiest month Weddings By Weaver has ever seen, a book deal, podcast interviews, 2019 goal planning, business mentorship meetings, and trying to keep a slightly decently clean house, things can get piled together very quickly and my vision can become hazy with my true calling.
That’s why this past weekend was a huge blessing to me. A group of people from my bible study took time to get away for the weekend and rest together at a lakehouse in Texas. While I was at the house for less than 24 hours, it was such a restful experience for me to sit back, reflect and turn my heart from a posture of business to one of thankfulness.
Saturday morning I took time to sit outside by myself and journal about the past year and what it has meant to me. I wanted to share an excerpt with you all about how I felt after listing out the things I was thankful for (if you want to know those things, go check out my personal insta post below.)
After writing all of the things that I was truly grateful for throughout 2018 I wrote this:
“It’s funny because as I write these things down I think to myself, ‘That’s not impressive - that’s normal stuff. Doesn’t everyone do this?’ and then I answer my thoughts with, ‘No Kara, that’s not normal at all.’ And so I try to change my mindset to one of thankfulness for all that has happened.
I have to remember that I am taking a less traditional career path - and that it is okay. Most people will not understand or care about what I do - and that is okay. I can’t and won’t please everyone - and that is okay. I won’t be everyone’s top choice/best friend/favorite human - and that is okay. I’m not living to impress people or please people - and that is okay.
Yet - I find myself constantly searching for affirmation from others. Desiring approval from people that I don’t even know and those who don’t understand or know me. My heart feasts on their praises and shrivels with their disapproval.
There’s a constant tug of war between my head and my heart. I don’t know if it will change or if I’ll ever get over it. I hope I do - I’ll work to improve it, but I know it won’t truly transform until Jesus makes it so.”
As I sit and reflect on all of the things that have happened over the past year, I want to have a posture that looks at Jesus and says “Thank you” instead of one that turns to the world and says, “What else do I need to do to gain your approval?”
I desire to live in the light. By doing so, I know my heart posture changes - not because of my own will power, but because of the change in my heart from the Lord.
Keeping it to the point, there is a verse in John 3:21 that says, “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what [s]he has done has been done through God.”
The successes of my company and my personal life are not mine, so please don’t ever think they are. Because of my desire to live in the light, I am able to see more plainly the gifts that the Lord has given, even when they aren’t what I would have chosen for myself.
I challenge you to be thankful for all the gifts you have been given. Turn your heart to one of thankfulness, not one that seeks out more of the world’s standards of excellence and success. It’s too draining to live like that (trust me I know from personal experience).
Always in love,
Kara